Josh and I stayed up late. Too late. We could not get up in the morning. But guess who was awake?  You guessed it! The kids were up bright and early. Josh and I stayed in bed. BIG. MISTAKE. After I finally decided to wake up at about 8 o' clock, I went downstairs to make breakfast for the kids. It's Sunday, and we are going to church.  I notice immediately that there are no toys on the toy shelf. "Rafael, where did you put all the toys?" I then turn towards the bathroom. The door is closed. Where are the kids? I open the door.......... ALL THE TOYS ARE IN THE BATHROOM. Dumped out. The kids are sitting on top of them, inside inflatable pool floating rings. I kid you not; the toys were up to my waist, covering the toilet. Obviously, we have way too many toys.  I screamed. "OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!" Josh runs downstairs, thinking something happened. Which, something definitely did. He's in awe. I was making incomprehensible sounds. Stuttering. I was pacing back an...

This has been a season of much suffering. I sometimes wonder how much I can handle. I cry out to the Lord for guidance and help. Many times I feel like I can't hear Him; He's just silent. That makes me feel like I am not cared for.  I sit in my self-pity, wondering why I am here in this place in my life. Is this where I am supposed to be? If it is, why am I questioning everything? It would be one thing if I was the only one affected, but I feel like this affects my whole family. I have been asking the Lord for guidance, yet continue to hear nothing.  I have been having some severe anxiety attacks lately, which is abnormal for me. I've been having them close together, randomly, and then again when I am stressed from certain situations that arise. Being involved in ministry is already a hard job.  The other day Rafi had a bad dream. So bad that he came into my room crying inconsolably. I asked him what happened in his dream and he said he couldn't remember. Usually when h...

Why do I feel this way? Everything I do reminds me of how much I fail.  I'm a failure as a mom, wife, employee, and person. I can do nothing right.  This whole week has been more overwhelming than I can imagine. The expectations and pressure...I just can't keep up. I'm slowly falling into a pit. And the further I go down, the more I want to just accept it, and keep falling.  I distract myself with stupid things. Love stories, comedy...anything that helps me to escape the reality that I'm living in.  Because I don't want to face it. I don't want this to be my life anymore.  When I get to this point, I don't even want to reach out to anyone. It's like I want to just be in pain. And even when people reach out, I don't give them much. Because I want to wallow in my self-pity. This cycle continues until I feel I've hit rock bottom. Why do I get like this? I have a great life...a husband and kids that love me. A job. My kids are going to private school...

Every day it seems like I'm going crazy. There's just so much to do: wash the dishes, sweep, get the kids ready for bed and school, make dinner...the list is endless.  Tonight Kiara was crying because she didn't want to clean up. Then she was angry and hit Rafael. Then she was crying again, and it's because she loves me so much (her words). Rafael wanted to keep playing outside, then he wanted to play video games, but he kept losing, so he began to cry...then it's bath time, and the bedtime routine, which is sometimes the dreaded time because everyone is tired, emotional, and checked out. I'm living in a crazy house. Is it my house? My family? Or is this just life? (I definitely think my family is a bit crazier than others generally...) I keep telling myself that one day it will get easier. Maybe when the kids are older. Maybe when I work less. That doesn't seem to be the truth. Life will always be crazy no matter what.  Do you ever have those days where you...

Hello lovelies! I wanted to share some fall scented products that I love! First of all, I LOVE fall! I love the smells, the weather, the fact that you can start to wear cute fall clothes like boots, scarves, and sweaters. I love Halloween and Thanksgiving, and I love fall decor! As far as fall scents, my favorites are sweeter scents, but I think my all-time favorite has to be apple! I love pumpkin as well, but this year I've become obsessed with everything apple.  It seems that most stores are open now, with limited capacities, but online has eben ooming for a lot of businesses! So if you still don't feel comfortable going out to buy things, I will have links to all the products I'm recommending. Since COVID-19 hit, all stores have been completely out of a lot of cleaning products. I used to clean with Clorox or Lysol wipes, but haven't even seen any since March! I've been hearing a lot about natural cleaning products that are safer for families and pets and use ess...

Hello beautiful people! I hope you are all doing well despite the craziness that is 2020.  I wanted to pass a little motivation, fun, and structure to your homeschool preschool routine if you have decided to homeschool your children!  I know there are many preschools closed at the moment which is frustrating, especially when you’re working from home and you just want a little peace and quiet while you work. Unfortunately, this post isn’t going to make working easier... but it will help your children feel like they are doing something fun, and you will get the satisfaction of knowing they are still learning, not just sitting in front of the TV! Background   Rafael is 3, and while the 2-year-old and Pre-K classes were my favorites when I taught, I also had the most experience in them. So it has been a bit of a learning curve for me to figure out how to teach the transitional class—the 3-year-olds.  Rafael is very smart; he knows the letters, letter sounds, numbers, and...